“Oh God, Help me! I can’t do this alone!”

Ever have one of those days where you want to just throw your hands up in the air and scream? This past week I had one of those days.  It started out being a pretty quiet morning; until about 8:30 – 9 am. Now mind you, I actually love my job and enjoy it about 99% of the time.  But there are days where the pressure gets to be a bit much, and well, Friday was just one of those days.  It seemed like all the demands hit at one time.  Everything was urgent and everyone needed an answer “now”.   And if that wasn’t enough; some folks pushed the right buttons that would soon cause my flesh to war against my spirit man as I fought the resistance in responding back in a negative way.  Instead, I found myself with an inward war; one that no one else could see, except the good Lord, Himself.  It took everything I had not to burst into tears and all I kept hearing is “Don’t respond.” 

Oh Lord, seriously?  Don’t respond?  But didn’t you hear what was said just now?  Didn’t you see, Lord? 

And still nothing but, “Don’t respond.”

I fought my flesh and forced my thoughts to dwell on hearing the Lord’s voice as He continued to speak softly “Don’t respond”.   Talk about a challenge.  Anyone that knows me knows it is indeed a challenge at times.  As the morning went by, things did not seem to get any better.  As lunch time drew near, I went to the fridge, warmed up my lunch and sat at my desk eating as I continued to fight back the tears.
I wanted to scream!!!!  “Oh God, Help me!  I can’t do this alone!”  And yet, I knew without doubt that I wasn’t alone.  The Holy Spirit reminded me that He was there and that it was nothing more than spiritual warfare.  Satan was doing his best to pull my attention away from the Lord in hopes he could tempt me to fall into a situation where I would respond in a negative manner to those around me.  Satan knows that if I allowed him to persuade me into something contrary to God’s word, it would damage my character as a servant of God, make me lose credibility with those around me and ultimately bring separation between me & my Lord.

I felt compelled to finish my lunch and go find a quiet place where it could be just me & God; no one else!  As I stood up to leave, I grabbed my water and some tissues and then went to grab my cell phone; just in case something urgent came up.  The Lord spoke softly again, “Don’t take it.  Leave it there.”  And I did.  Without any further hesitation, I went outside, found my favorite spot and sat quietly in His presence.   As I looked up, my tears became my silent prayer.  The sun gently pierced thru the clouds that gloomed over it, covering me with gentle warmth of God’s presence.  I noticed the clouds kept trying to cover over the sun again, leaving me feeling cold and alienated.  But then the sun would find its way to pierce thru the clouds as if the clouds didn’t exist.  (I know this is a normal thing, but this particular day it actually captivated my attention.)

As I could see the sun vaguely thru the clouds, the Holy Spirit showed me that no matter what may try to come between us, He is still there.   Nothing but His peace flooded my soul.  I knew God was at work and I was assured that this would somehow bring glory to Him, for He has a plan greater than what I can see.

Later that afternoon, some of the people I had a run in with earlier kept coming around acting as if they knew they hurt or offended me.  It was obvious they were trying to make things right between us and yet, unsure of what to say as they grabbed thru straws to hold a conversation.  At that moment, I was able to respond with true compassion and genuineness of heart; only because I heeded to the voice of the Holy Spirit.  Apart from Him, I would not have had the strength to do so otherwise.

What about you?  Are you in the middle of an inward war other’s can’t see?  Wondering where God is at in the midst of your circumstance?  You’re not alone.   Trust me when I tell you; there are others just like you & me.  Let me encourage you to find a quiet place; a place where you can be alone with God.  No need to say anything.  Your submission in His presence will say it all.  He knows what you’re going thru and has already prepared a plan to see you thru.  Allow His peace to flood your mind and be open to His direction. 

Remember, He has promised us in Hebrews 13:5 NIV  “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Be blessed my family & friends.  I pray you walk in the Lord’s total favor!

Love you all,

Cyndy

Hear my prayer, Lord God Almighty; listen to me, God of Jacob. Look on our shield, O God; look with favor on your anointed one. Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you. Psalm 84:8-12 NIV